Month: October 2020

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“Mommy, I Need You!”

Every morning I wake up to the sound of my three year old son yelling at the top of his lungs, “Mommy, I need you! Mommy, I need you!” It’s quite frustrating to be jolted out of bed with instant demands of my time and energy. Despite this feeling, this situation also causes me to reflect on my own relationship with the Lord.

You see, my three year old son is incredibly dependent on me (too much so at times). That being said, at three years old, he is humble enough to ADMIT his need of me – need of me to help him get dressed in the morning, make him breakfast, comfort him when he cries, etc. And by admitting his daily need of me, my son’s needs are met, and this dependence also fosters a close relationship between us.

My question to myself is…how often do I realize and admit my own similar utter dependence on the Lord? Although I may not need God to get me dressed, make me breakfast, or take me to the bathroom, I need Him just as vitally, actually even more so.

God created me, died for me, AND sustains me each day. He provides for me physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc. Without Him, I would not be able to even take my first breath in the morning, as He sustains my heartbeat and breathing. Without Him, I would have no joy, hope, love, or peace. Without Him, my life would be meaningless and full of worry and despair.

Although intellectually I KNOW my need of God, how often do I ADMIT and RECOGNIZE my need of and utter dependence on God? And if I were to do this, perhaps even more of my needs would be met, and perhaps I would have an even more intimate relationship with Him.

I think it would be hugely beneficial if I took a lesson from my son, and if I were to START each day crying out to God, “Lord, I need you! Lord I need you!” And instead of getting annoyed with my cries, I know my loving Father would simply reply, “Yes, child, I’m right here.”

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The Challenges of Being a New Mom

Now that I have three young children, it is interesting for me to look back on myself when I was a new mom and analyze why I got so stressed with just one child. Since it bothers me when people criticize new moms for being so stressed (because I remember being just as stressed), I wanted to recognize and validate (mainly for new moms) what makes that transition to motherhood so difficult.  So here is what I came up with:

  • Lack of confidence – As a new mom, you haven’t had much experience, so you constantly doubt your abilities. This lack of confidence is really draining, and makes even simple caretaking tasks exhausting.
  • Lack of knowledge/experience – Becoming a new mom is just like starting a new job/career where there is a big learning curve (even bigger with becoming a mom). Because you have a lack of knowledge/experience, you have to invest a lot of your time and energy to acquire this new knowledge with each new experience that presents itself.  
  • Fear of the unknown – Because of your lack of confidence and experience, you also fear the unknown situations, wondering how you will handle each and every situation that presents itself.
  • Fear of failure – Because of your own self-doubt, many times you fear failing as a mom, or wonder what failing would be.
  • New identity – In the book “When Two Become Three,” the author shows a diagram where he says that for women, becoming a new mother takes up 70% of their new identity. Wow that’s a HUGE adjustment! Adjusting to a role as mom and letting go, in many ways, of your old self takes time and is quite difficult.
  • New marriage – When you have your first baby, your major goes through major stresses and adjustments as well. So not only are you dealing with your own identity changes, but also the marital identity changes as well.

So if you’re a new mom, take heart! Transitioning from no children to one child is by far the hardest adjustment and transition. You will grow so much as a mom, and in a few years you will look back on this time and realize how far you’ve come. You can do it! 🙂