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Always Working

“In His defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working.” John 5:17

As a stay-at-home mother of three little ones – I am quite busy taking care of the kids and the house. Throughout the day there aren’t many breaks, and as soon as I sit down, I usually have to get up quickly to put out another “fire” – clean up a mess, comfort a crying child, intercede in a fight, etc. The tasks of the day are never done – from changing diapers, getting kids dressed (and re-dressed), cooking meals, feeding the kids, putting someone down for a nap, doing the dishes, putting away the laundry, etc. Often it feels that I’m a rat on a spinning wheel that just can’t catch up to what’s in front of her. It seems the “work is never done,” as they say.

Despite all this, my busyness somehow evades my children. No matter how messy the kitchen (dishes piled up to the faucet), how dirty the floor (mud tracks everywhere), how many clothes to fold (enough piled on the bed to hide someone for weeks), my kids seem to always think that I have the time – the time to chit chat, time to play, time to run around, etc. Often times I will literally be in the middle of serving them in ONE way, such as cooking them a meal, when they are asking me to do several other things for them at the same time – “Mommy, can you help put my shoe on?” “Mommy, can you read me a story?” “Mommy, can you build a train with me?” Many times I will stop what I’m doing to help them, but sometimes I’m not able to.

Whenever they ask me to do something for them, many times they can’t see that 1) I’m busy doing something else and 2) that what I’m busy doing is working for them already in some other way.  It’s like my time and my work is completely invisible to them. Developmentally, they are too small to see the big picture and see everything that I’m already doing for them, every minute of every day.

Additionally, many times I’m working on something way ahead of time that they haven’t even sensed their need for yet. For instance, I may start cooking supper at noon (in the pressure cooker) and then at 5:00pm they start bellowing, “Mommy, I’m hungry!” What they don’t know is that I’ve already anticipated their hunger and worked ahead to meet that need.

Similarly, this reminds me of the Bible verse where Jesus said, “My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working” (John 5:17).

Oftentimes, in our relationship with God, we behave just like little children. We constantly see our own needs and wants, ask for those things, and neglect to see that God is already at work – for the needs/wants that we realize, and even for those that we don’t yet realize.

Just as a parent is ALWAYS working for their children, God is ALWAYS, and even more so, working for us. And unlike a human parent who eats, sleeps, and takes breaks, God NEVER takes a break. He is always working hard for us – interceding on our behalf and meeting our present AND future needs.

And like little children, we often don’t see the big picture and don’t appreciate all He is doing on our behalf. Let me assure you that God loves you a million times more than a parent loves his/her child, AND He is much more equipped to provide for YOU than a parent can provide for his/her child.

If only we would realize and remember this more, then perhaps we wouldn’t question Him or circumstances in our lives quite as much. Perhaps we would trust Him, trust that He is ALWAYS working for our good, and that He has already met each felt and unfelt need. He searches the heart and goes so much deeper than a parent ever could.

Maybe your need today is hope, companionship, peace, comfort, rest, or strength. Whatever it is, He is there, He is working, and He will provide.

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“An Empty Cup”

“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave–just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28

I’m sure many of us have heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Usually it is said in order to motivate someone (especially mothers) to invest more in self-care, activities such as putting on makeup, going to the gym, drinking enough water, and taking time for yourself.  As a professional counselor, I myself have many times tried to encourage people to engage in self-care, even using this phrase, or similar phrasing. In general, I think this IS a healthy concept, but sometimes this phrase can be damaging. Let me explain.

If this is ALL we are ever telling people, then what happens during times in our lives when we CAN’T engage in self-care? Times in our lives when MORE is being asked of us and we ARE pouring from an “empty cup?”

For example, since having my third child, many times I feel as if I AM pouring from an “empty cup.” So far I have not been able to keep up with things as well, or to resume my normal self-care activities, such as wearing makeup everyday, going running, eating regular healthy meals, and drinking lots of water. I also have not been able to engage in my usual hobbies or achieve personal goals. Often this leaves me feeling FRUSTRATED or even GUILTY that I’m NOT engaging in as much self-care. But the reality is that taking care of three young children literally does take ALL of my time and energy, at least for now, especially with some of the random health issues of my third child.

Maybe you have a sick child/parent OR you are going through some other crisis, and the situation is requiring ALL of your time and energy. Usually the situation is temporary, maybe weeks, months, or even years, but during this time you can’t operate like you used to, and you have to buckle down and put someone else’s needs ABOVE your own, without expecting anything in return.

If you are expecting self-care during these times, and don’t get it, you could become RESENTFUL, or perhaps feel GUILTY that you can’t exercise, engage in a hobby, or whatever it is. As a result, it seems to me that sometimes the idea of self-care could be an over-simplification, not allowing for the different seasons and levels of service we may be called to in our lives.

I don’t think anything has taught me to serve more than motherhood. With each child that I have (currently I have three kids ages four and under), God calls me to more and more service, away from self and more towards Him. In Isaiah 53:12, it says that Jesus “poured out His life unto death.” Now I know that we as humans are NOT Jesus, but I also know that as disciples of Jesus we are called to a similar life of service and self-sacrifice. In Matthew 20:28 it says “whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave.”

Somehow our culture makes it out to be that service is a bad thing and self-care is the “be all and end all,” but perhaps it’s not so simple. Perhaps service is a holy calling and perhaps self-care will come at the right time and in the right way, but without our constant demands for it.  

At the same time, I do think self-care is important and healthy, and no matter what season of life, we can always prioritize being healthy–in big ways OR in small ways. Currently in my life, I want to take the pressure and guilt off of myself, and I want to pray specific prayers like, “God, please let me know the right time to get back to the same level of fitness, and help me to have peace with that time frame.” OR “God, please tell me what is a realistic exercise plan for this stage of my life and give me the self-discipline to stick with it.”

Also, if I am “pouring from an empty cup,” then my prayer could be:

“Lord, please FILL MY CUP in ways that only YOU know how. Perhaps this season of service (with smaller aspects to self-care) will help me to rely MORE on You, Jesus, and LESS on myself.”

To quote the hymn, “Fill my cup, Lord, fill it up and make me whole.”

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Let It Go, Mama

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30

“Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalm 55:22

The “burdens” of motherhood. Wow, it can feel almost intolerable. Since becoming a mother, I can’t believe how many “things” I hold on to. In talking with my therapist, she has helped me to realize that perhaps the “things” that I hold on to contribute greatly to feeling overwhelmed with my kids. Yes, the kids have needy, sometimes annoying, behaviors that drain my energies, but perhaps the burdens that I carry also drain my energies.

It seems that each day brings a new set of “burdens,” or things that I hold on to in my head, aka my thoughts. For me, my primary negative thoughts or emotions usually center around guilt, or “should” statements. A few examples: I shouldn’t have yelled at him, I should be playing with the kids more, I should be cleaning my house right now, I should have held him more as a baby, I should, shouldn’t, or should have…

Worry is another burden that I often hold on to. I worry for my children’s skills, abilities, character, etc. For example, will he ever learn to count correctly? Will he ever learn to listen better? Will the tantrums ever stop? And after so many of these thoughts, by the end of the day I’m exhausted! Both by the kids’ behaviors, but also by my own burdens that I bear.

Other days I am burdened by my anxiety, perhaps anxious that I have so many things to do and how will I ever get them done in time? One thing that I have learned to try to do is in the morning to surrender my “to do” list to God, telling Him that I have a lot to do, but to trust that He will help me to prioritize my tasks with the amount of time I have. And then it is my choice to let go of whatever I don’t get done, rather than holding on to the anxiety of it.  

Other days I am just very tired and in some ways I hold on to that tired feeling by continually reminding myself how tired I am, or worrying that I won’t get through the day. I dream about sleep and then sometimes sleep doesn’t come as easily.

In dealing with these “burdens,” many of us cope in different ways. Sometimes we cry a little, eat a dessert, dream of a break, vent to our husband or a friend, and other times we scroll our phones hoping for relief by viewing happiness on the other side of the screen. At the end of the day, I’ve found that these coping mechanisms frequently let us down, as they are not lasting and really do not cure the problem. Why? Because in so doing, we continue to hold on to our burdens and haven’t really let them go.

Jesus knew that we would have burdens, especially as mothers. In Psalms 55:22, it says, “Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you.” It doesn’t say to cast your burden on other things, but primarily to cast them on Him. What a gracious God we serve that would take on, or even welcome our burdens!

So next time that I am feeling burdened by motherhood, I want to ask God, “Lord, what am I holding on to here? Is it worry, fear, guilt, stress, or something else?” And I know that in response He will quickly show me.

And then I hope that I am able to LET IT GO…to let GO of the burden, and no longer choose to hold on to it (because really it IS a choice). May I cast that burden on the Lord, realizing that I am an imperfect mother, but that He is a perfect God. I will make mistakes, but His grace can and will make up the difference in my parenting.  

When I’m guilty, let me receive His grace.

When I’m anxious, let me claim His promises of peace.

When I’m frustrated, let me talk to Him about it.

When I’m tired, may I find my rest in Him. 

When you’re burdened, lay down your burdens at HIS feet. Experience the freedom that comes with surrender, and let it go, mama, let it go.

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Lies of Motherhood

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)

Being a mom for the last few years, and currently a mom of three, one thing I’ve realized is that often it is not the actual situation with my child that gets me upset, but rather how I interpret the situation. Let me explain. Here’s an example. If my child wakes up at night, many times it is not the actual waking up that gets me so anxious and upset, but rather it is the distorted or negative thoughts that I have relating to them waking up. For instance, maybe the thought, “Oh great, now they won’t go back to sleep for a long time” OR “Oh great, now I won’t know how to put them back to sleep” OR “Oh great, now I’m going to be tired and have a horrible day tomorrow.” These thoughts are the source of my anxiety, not the child’s night waking.

This concept is supported by scripture and by modern psychology. In Romans 12:2, Paul says “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” In 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul says to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” And finally, in John 8:32 Jesus Himself says “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” All of these verses talk about the importance of addressing the lies in your head and replacing them with God’s truth.

Modern psychology also supports this idea. Many research studies have shown Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to be the most effective type of counseling for many different types of mental illness, some of which include anxiety and depression. This type of therapy is all about identifying negative or distorted thought patterns and replacing them with more positive or rational thought patterns. I use this type of therapy most often when I counsel people.

Relating to this supported concept and idea, I would now like to identify and replace some of the common lies (or categories of lies) of motherhood.

“I’m incapable.”

Perhaps the most common lies for me (pertaining to motherhood) have always centered around the core belief of “I’m incapable,” which many times leads to the feelings of ANXIETY. So for me many times this lie says, “I won’t know what to do if this were to happen.” So using the previous example…”I won’t know what to do if my child wakes up and won’t go back to sleep.” I could replace this negative belief with, “If my child wakes up, I will figure out what to do. God will show me what to do.” In turn, saying this to myself would offer peace and confidence in place of anxiety.

“I can’t make it.”

Another big lie for me centers around this idea of “I can’t make it” OR “It’s awful and I can’t handle it,” which many times leads to DISCOURAGEMENT. Usually this lie relates to bad days of little sleep, temper tantrums, needy children, etc. So perhaps if I’m really tired one day, I’m saying to myself, “I won’t be able to get through this day feeling so tired.” This thought makes me feel quite discouraged. Instead, I could quote the Bible verse, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13), and I can replace the negative thought with, “God will give me the strength to endure.” In turn, this would give me encouragement and joy.

“I have failed.”

This last thought relates to the times when I lose my temper or fail my child in some way. As a result, I often think to myself, “Oh no, I’ve failed, and now my child will suffer because of it,” which many times leads to DESPAIR or SHAME. Instead, I can claim the Bible verse, “My weakness is made perfect in His strength.” I can replace the thought with, “I made a mistake, but God forgives me, and with His help I can do better next time.” In turn, this can help me to feel encouraged and joyful.

In summary, next time you feel anxious, discouraged, or ashamed, remember that it is your thoughts, not the situation, that is making you feel that way. Also make sure to identify the negative or distorted thoughts that could be leading to these negative feelings. And then claim a Bible verse and replace those thoughts as quickly as possible. In so doing, may you find more peace, encouragement, confidence, and joy. May your mind be renewed, and may God’s truth set you free, mama.

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“Mommy, I Need You!”

Every morning I wake up to the sound of my three year old son yelling at the top of his lungs, “Mommy, I need you! Mommy, I need you!” It’s quite frustrating to be jolted out of bed with instant demands of my time and energy. Despite this feeling, this situation also causes me to reflect on my own relationship with the Lord.

You see, my three year old son is incredibly dependent on me (too much so at times). That being said, at three years old, he is humble enough to ADMIT his need of me – need of me to help him get dressed in the morning, make him breakfast, comfort him when he cries, etc. And by admitting his daily need of me, my son’s needs are met, and this dependence also fosters a close relationship between us.

My question to myself is…how often do I realize and admit my own similar utter dependence on the Lord? Although I may not need God to get me dressed, make me breakfast, or take me to the bathroom, I need Him just as vitally, actually even more so.

God created me, died for me, AND sustains me each day. He provides for me physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc. Without Him, I would not be able to even take my first breath in the morning, as He sustains my heartbeat and breathing. Without Him, I would have no joy, hope, love, or peace. Without Him, my life would be meaningless and full of worry and despair.

Although intellectually I KNOW my need of God, how often do I ADMIT and RECOGNIZE my need of and utter dependence on God? And if I were to do this, perhaps even more of my needs would be met, and perhaps I would have an even more intimate relationship with Him.

I think it would be hugely beneficial if I took a lesson from my son, and if I were to START each day crying out to God, “Lord, I need you! Lord I need you!” And instead of getting annoyed with my cries, I know my loving Father would simply reply, “Yes, child, I’m right here.”

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The Challenges of Being a New Mom

Now that I have three young children, it is interesting for me to look back on myself when I was a new mom and analyze why I got so stressed with just one child. Since it bothers me when people criticize new moms for being so stressed (because I remember being just as stressed), I wanted to recognize and validate (mainly for new moms) what makes that transition to motherhood so difficult.  So here is what I came up with:

  • Lack of confidence – As a new mom, you haven’t had much experience, so you constantly doubt your abilities. This lack of confidence is really draining, and makes even simple caretaking tasks exhausting.
  • Lack of knowledge/experience – Becoming a new mom is just like starting a new job/career where there is a big learning curve (even bigger with becoming a mom). Because you have a lack of knowledge/experience, you have to invest a lot of your time and energy to acquire this new knowledge with each new experience that presents itself.  
  • Fear of the unknown – Because of your lack of confidence and experience, you also fear the unknown situations, wondering how you will handle each and every situation that presents itself.
  • Fear of failure – Because of your own self-doubt, many times you fear failing as a mom, or wonder what failing would be.
  • New identity – In the book “When Two Become Three,” the author shows a diagram where he says that for women, becoming a new mother takes up 70% of their new identity. Wow that’s a HUGE adjustment! Adjusting to a role as mom and letting go, in many ways, of your old self takes time and is quite difficult.
  • New marriage – When you have your first baby, your major goes through major stresses and adjustments as well. So not only are you dealing with your own identity changes, but also the marital identity changes as well.

So if you’re a new mom, take heart! Transitioning from no children to one child is by far the hardest adjustment and transition. You will grow so much as a mom, and in a few years you will look back on this time and realize how far you’ve come. You can do it! 🙂

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Mothering According to Your Strengths

In only being a mother for three years, I can already see how much moms compare themselves to other moms. It’s easy to look at another mom and think, “Wow, she is so structured, neat, and tidy. Wish I could be more that way.” OR “Wow, she is so fun and playful. With I could lighten up a bit.” But let me ask, is it helpful to compare yourself to another mom? Or does it just make you feel worse about yourself?

Instead of parenting according to your weaknesses, why not parent according to your strengths? If I were to ask you, what are your strengths as a parent/mom, would you be able to answer accurately? In order to develop this self-awareness, it might be good for you to take a personality test, such as the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, or Jung Typology. You can find this free test at the following link: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp.

After you take the personality test, then I would suggest reading the type descriptions, as they relate to your parenting style: https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/08/22/myers-briggs-personality-type-like-mom/ OR https://www.mightymoms.club/mothers/mothering-style/

Possible parenting strengths relating to personality types may include: structure, discipline, independence, teaching, guidance, affection, nurture, understanding, patience, love, imaginative, creative, playful, etc.

Personally speaking, I have an ENFP personality type, so I enjoy fun and adventure with my children. My strengths as a parent tend to be patience, play, and understanding, while my weaknesses tend to be discipline, chores, and independence.

Now that I’m aware of this information, I can work to maximize my strengths and minimize my weaknesses. For example, since I enjoy playing with my children, I can try to incorporate play into our daily activities, and not feel bad about it! I can also use my creativity to come up with fun games. Since I hate doing the chores, perhaps I can try to make a game out of that as well, and also involve my children in chores as much as possible. Or maybe even hire a housekeeper, and not feel bad about it, ha!

I think a big secret is learning to ACCEPT yourself – the good, the bad, and the ugly. The truth is that I will never be a great housekeeper, so I need to stop beating myself up about it. The other truth is that I am great at spending time with and listening to my children, and I need to affirm myself more for these great qualities.

Parenting is already hard enough. It’s time that we as mothers stop beating ourselves up and gives ourselves the grace and affirmation that we seek to give to our children.

For additional resources, consider ordering the book “MotherStyles” by Janet Penley, which you can find on Amazon. Another free assessment that can help you to narrow down your strengths as a parent, such as the one provided by Focus on the Family at the following website: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/seven-traits/

Feel free to comment below with your personality type as it relates to your parenting strengths, and/or a resource that you’d recommend!

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His Mercies are New

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

As a SAHM of a three year old and one year old, there are days when I think I might lose my mind. Typical scenario: The one year old crying and clinging to me, the three year old pooping his pants (as we undergo potty training) and then throwing a tantrum for me not to clean him up. Most of the time I can keep my cool, but some days, tension mounts and I just snap…can you relate?

The other day I put my two kids to bed, and then had to go into their room three times in a row, as my three year old son just wouldn’t settle down. The third time that I went into his room, I scolded him, and what he did next broke my heart. He covered his face with his hand and then crouched down in the bed. It’s as if he thought that I was going to actually hurt him or something. I’ve never hit my son in the face. I’ve only ever spanked him on the leg or bottom (and never leaving a mark or anything). So it broke my heart for him to cower in fear.

It was then I realized that I needed Jesus’ grace to forgive me for the times that I’ve spanked him in anger. Apparently for a three year old, he can’t differentiate between a spanking in anger on the butt or getting hit somewhere else. Either way, I felt very ashamed and wanted to cower in shame for the times I’ve lost my temper with him.

In my shame, Jesus lifted me up. He reminded me of the Bible verse that says that “His mercies are new each morning.” I humbly asked His forgiveness and asked for help to never spank my son in anger again. The next day I also apologized to my son and reminded him that I would never hit him in the face or hurt him.  

As mothers of littles, there will be times that we will lose our temper with our children, but it is important that we use those instances to learn and grow. It is important that we meet Jesus at the foot of the cross and humbly ask for His forgiveness, and turn from our sins. In so doing, I guarantee that He will meet you where you are and offer His precious peace and pardon, reminding you that today is a new day, full of grace and forgiveness.

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40 Days of US Lock-down: What I’ve Learned

1. What matters most is my relationship with God and my family/closest friends.

2. People were created for connection and fellowship.

3. Sometimes it’s nice to not have plans because it forces you to live more in the present.

4. God will provided for and protect us if we are faithful to and trust Him.

5. God can use anything for His purpose and plans.

6. Peace and joy can be found in the quiet and still, away from the hustle and bustle.

7. Fear makes people control, or allow themselves to be controlled.

8. “For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…” 2 Tim. 1:7

9. Now is the time to draw near to God.

10.  Now is the time to share your faith.

11. Always find ways to be a blessing, even in the midst of hardship.

12. Jesus is coming VERY soon!

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Adjusting to Motherhood: Giving Yourself Time, and Learning to Let Go

For the first year of being a mother, I remember feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. I also remember getting frustrated and disappointed in myself. During this frustrating time, I remember reading an article that discussed how parenthood is like a skill that needs to be developed, and that it gets easier and better with time. Well now that I have a toddler and a baby, I couldn’t agree more with this statement. Just like any new job or career, there is a learning curve, and even a bigger learning curve for being a parent. Why? Because you are simultaneously learning several different things: learning your child’s temperament, learning how to parent (various age levels), and also learning to adjust to your new identity as a mother. Lastly, you are learning how to balance it all: self, wife, mother, sister, friend, etc. Therefore, be patient with and kind to yourself, mama. You are learning. You will get there. It won’t always be this hard.

During the adjustment phase, you may go through a grieving period – grieving the loss of your old self, your old way of life, your old marriage, etc. This grieving process is healthy and completely normal, because after all, you AREN’T the same person anymore, and your life and marriage ARE completely different. I think how you handle this grieving process is key to your future happiness as a mother. You can either DENY the loss, or you can grieve and embrace it; your choice. Now that I’ve been a mom for about three years, I finally feel like I’m at the tail end of this grieving process and learning to let go.

Learning to let go of what? Of myself…of my expectations, needs, and desires for certain things. To clarify, I don’t mean to completely lose yourself in your children, but this phase of life requires a lot of maturity and self-sacrifice, and with that comes a lot of letting go. The sooner you learn to let go, the happier and more at peace you will be as a mother. Now I will describe of a FEW of the things that I have learned to let go of as a mother.

Letting go of…

The expectation that you and your husband will perfectly share parenting duties

For most traditional couples, parenting duties will never be equally shared between the mother and father, and that’s okay. Let me explain. For the first year or two of motherhood I remember being frustrated that I spent more time and energy on my kids than my husband did. But lately I have realized that God created men and women to have equal value, but differing responsibilities. For example, my biggest burden is TAKING CARE of my home and children, and my husband’s biggest burden is PROVIDING for our home and family. Sometimes I wish my husband had a bigger burden for the smallest needs of our children. Other times my husband wishes that I had a bigger burden for budgeting and saving our money. Despite our wishes, this is not how God created us. I will never care as much as he does about the budget, and he will never care as much as I do about a child’s stuffy nose. Now that I have accepted this, I have more peace and joy as a mother and wife, and find myself less resentful towards my husband.

The expectation that you will get to eat when you’re hungry

Before I had small children, I could usually eat whenever I was hungry. Now that I have kids, many times I have to wait minutes or hours until I can start eating, and then another half hour or hour before I can finish eating (due to frequent interruptions). I used to be more upset about it, but now I’ve learned to accept it, and so has my appetite. One thing I’ve learned: eat as quickly and creatively as possible! 🙂

Your desire for sleep (and the expectation that you will get to sleep whenever you’re tired)

I have been more tired in the past three years of being a mother than I was in the 32 years before becoming a mom. As a result, I’ve had to learn to “embrace” being tired, as much as possible. I’ve also had to learn to let go of my desire for sleep many times. Before I had kids, I could take a nap or go to bed early whenever I was tired. Now that I have small kids, naps and early bedtimes are completely random and totally dependent on the children. So for example, now instead of coming home from church with the expectation to nap, I resolve that I likely won’t get to nap, which helps me greatly to not get so disappointed. When I’m really tired I just try to trust that God will provide for my needs, as I provide for my children’s needs, and that being tired never killed anyone.

Your desire for a break from your children

When you’re a mom, especially a stay-at-home mom, there are many days when you long for a break from your children. Despite this fact, I’ve found that it makes things worse for me to focus on my desire for a break because then when I don’t get a break, I am sorely disappointed. And then my husband will surprise me with breaks when I least expect it. I guess this is another area of parenthood that requires trust in the Lord. God will give you a break when He knows you really need it, and until then, He will give you the patience and strength to endure.

In conclusion, give yourself time to adjust, grieve the losses of what used to be, and let go of certain desires or expectations. (That being said, it is still very important to assert your desires, needs, and expectations to your spouse. But after you’ve said it, let it go.) And remember, motherhood gets easier with time, as you learn your child, how to parent, and your new identity as a mother. Therefore, be patient and forgiving of yourself, and remember, God brought you to it, and He will bring you through it.

Please comment below with any comments or questions!